Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s

Laura L. Engel’s memoir, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is not just the story of Laura but of thousands of girls and women in the 1960s. By writing her truth, Laura gives a voice to that seventeen year old girl caught up in a tangle of a secret pregnancy and the relinquishment of her son. Her book is passionate and emotional yet educates the reader about that time period and the guilt and trauma that women endured. This book delves into how a traumatic secret is never forgotten and colors the secret keepers life. Laura’s book shows how the bursting open of this shameful secret colored her life and changed the direction of it in a powerful and positive way.
This book is not only an act of love for Laura’s long missed secret son, and the three sons she raised, but for the thousands of adoptees who wonder why they were given up and for the women affected over those decades by the stigma of having a child out of wedlock.

Praise for the book

“It’s hard not to gush about a well-written story. Her story: it makes the world brighter and less dark and difficult to navigate. She shares her story so selflessly with her whole heart laid out for the world to read. She is brave, strong, and such a beautiful writer. I hope and pray that you will enjoy sharing her story as much as I do. When I finished this book, I was so equally filled with love and anguish.”

— Karla King, Review on Adoption.com

(Read the full review and interview here)

“You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a wrenching memoir that testifies to the unbreakable bond between a mother and their child; it contains an indictment of past practices regarding adoption.”

— Suzanne, Foreword Reviews

(Read the full review here)

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What People Are Saying

“This courageous, devastating memoir describes the dark side of the adoption fairy tale: the trauma of forced separation of a mother from her child. Engel’s story is stark testimony to the failures of an adoption system that is built on coercion, lies, and shame. Highly recommended to those wanting to understand more about the true story of adoption.”

—Alice Stephens, author of the novel Famous Adopted People

“Laura L. Engel tells the heart-breaking story of a young mother — separated at birth from a child she never knew — who finds the courage to confront her guilt-ridden past and seek redemption. In her moving and deeply personal account, the author makes peace with a long-lost son, and ultimately with herself.”

—David Sheffield, screenwriter of Coming to America.

“Heart-wrenching but filled with purpose, this book satisfyingly unreels our emotions to the bright sounds of the 60’s. Laura’s richly detailed story makes us laugh, cry, gasp and pray for those caught in that cruel time warp that plunged unwed mothers into the lowest, loathsome level of ‘proper’ society. A film, of course!”

—Linda Bergman, Screenwriter, Producer, Educator

“Exactly ten years apart, two scared eighteen-year-olds were forced to surrender their newborn sons for adoption in a home for unwed mothers on Washington Avenue in New Orleans. The first was my birth mother Julie Francis; the second was Laura Engel. For five decades, Engel thought about her son constantly and wondered what had become of him. Then, miraculously, she found him, only to lose him again. You’ll Forget This Ever Happened, Engel’s first book, is a heartwarming and heartbreaking memoir about a mother’s undying love for her son. I couldn’t put it down.”

—Brooks Eason, author of Fortunate Son and Redemption

“Laura L. Engel’s memoir reads like a conversation with a best friend, both genuine and familiar. She anchors her story with references to the music, hair styles, and fashions of the 1960’s, while unflinchingly sharing her pain and humiliation. When Laura got pregnant at 17, the trajectory of her life was altered, and she was not allowed to make any of her own decisions. These experiences left permanent scars, which she kept hidden for decades, until a defining moment changed everything.You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is the story of resilience, of moving forward, building a different life, but never, ever forgetting the secret baby she left behind.”

—Deborah Reed, co-author of The Chamber and The Cross

“This book is the reason I read. I couldn’t put it down and when I did, it stayed with me. You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is an incredible story beautifully told.”

—Lindsey Salatka, author of Fish Heads and Duck Skin

“If Anne Tyler had written a memoir about being forced to give up her son for adoption in the 1960s, it would read like You’ll Forget This Ever Happened. Laura L. Engel is immediately likable and draws you in with her warmth, but her gorgeous prose immediately transports you to the Deep South in the 60s. As a reader, you’ll keep turning page after page; as a woman, you’ll want to hug her. This is a brave memoir that’ll make you weep happy and sad tears.”

—Lauren Cross, author of forthcoming memoir, Mother Nurture.

“Nearly fifty years after giving up her baby, the past finds her. When Engel’s son, now grown and with a family of his own, locates her, the journey moves from trauma and despair to joy, and through a bittersweet, imperfect healing. Engel describes it all with poignancy and honesty. This book is achingly lovely, written by a woman who knows her heart, makes up her mind, finds her way, creating a life on her own terms.”

—Lisa Shapiro, co-author with Deborah Reed of The Chamber And The Cross, and author of No Forgotten Fronts: From Classrooms to Combat

“You’ll Forget This Ever Happened had me hooked from the opening words. I was fully engaged and on the journey with teenaged Laura. Engel paints the details of popular song and the companionship of other girls in such a way that highlights their youth and lack of agency over their bodies or futures. This is an important book, especially today.”

—Louise Carnachan, author of Work Jerks: How to Cope with Difficult Bosses and Colleagues

“A gripping and ultimately redemptive story about a teenage girl forced to relinquish her newborn son in a New Orleans maternity home for unwed mothers in 1967. With beautiful descriptions and poetic and engaging writing, Engel breaths new life into a long-gone time in the South. This memoir is hard to put down in the best ways.”

—Tracy J. Jones, Editor and Writing Coach

“Deeply moving, heart wrenching and visually alive, this memoir exposes the pain of becoming pregnant at a young age and being forced to give up a child. Ultimately, a story of resilience, forgiveness, and acceptance, with an ending made for a movie.”

—Roberta S. Kuriloff, author of Everything Special, Living Joy

“You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is gripping and well written. The sweet, loving, Laura is side swiped by life when she gets pregnant. What happens next in Laura’s story is typical yet not typical. I grieve for the women who are forced to live with the choices made alone and young. In general, my beef is with the men who leave the women to deal with all these issues by themselves. Why don’t we hold the men accountable? Laura’s book is a worthy read because her determination, grit, love, and faith are admirable and genuine. Don’t miss this important book.”

—Leslie Johansen Nack, author of The Blue Butterfly

“This book will break your heart and exhilarate your spirit. Engel’s prose is lyrical and her storytelling filled with rich details. Endearing and heartwarming, this book is a treasure.”

—Madonna Treadway, award winning author of Six Healing Questions: A Gentle Path to Facing Loss of a Parent

—Roberta S. Kuriloff, author of Everything Special, Living Joy

“You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a powerful, gripping memoir that grabs a hold of you from the first few words and keeps you turning pages to find out what will happen next. Engel travels back in time to when she was a young teen in the Deep South and was all but forced to give up a baby she wanted. She deftly captures her heartbreaking struggle—and explores the way she faced down shame and buried secrets to find herself and her long-lost son. Told with heart and grit, honesty and wisdom, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a poignant read about a mother’s unending love that will stay with you long after you have read the last page.”

—Marni Freedman, author of 7 Essential Tools, and Permission To Roar and cofounder of San Diego Writers Festival